We came to the party late…..

I remember when Covid-19 started, almost everyone I know was either working form home and those that were not were staying at home. I was green with envy I really wanted to work from home. I have all these things I have always wanted to do and I never got the chance to do them. I wanted to go to bed late and wake up late, I wanted to be stuck in my house because I love it. I love being at home and doing things in my house.

This is exactly how I felt….

The new normal requires one to get their temperature checked before they get into any building, so this was me on a Sunday morning getting my temperature checked and it was way too high the security guy told me to go and tell HR this. I did that and was told to go home asap, and as the responsible citizen I am I went home and began self-isolating. Alas my wish came true.

Biltong made by me…

The first day went by so fast, before I even knew it I was already making dinner. The next day my company made plans to have me work from home, okay I didn’t know where to start so I decided to start the next day, what can I say procrastination is funnnn. The following day I woke up early, took a shower and was ready and I contacted the IT guy who told me he was busy so he would connect my system as soon as he was done. I didn’t have a problem with that, I watched my husband work the whole day while I was catching up on Netflix. I finally started working on day 4, imagine 4 days gone and no one died, my job is not that essential after all.

I had to try making pizza…

I finally started working on day 4, not sure if it’s because business is slow or my job is not that demanding, I finished my daily tasks early and cleaned the house. My house was clean, if I had any “style” am sure I could have made it look like one of those classy homes. My husband sort of got tired of this new me lol, I didn’t want shoes left anywhere, we even had a mini family meeting about putting back things where the belong and 50% of the attendees were not happy.

I even baked a cake…

I enjoyed working from home and I am at a point where I have started looking for jobs that allow me to work from home, so if you know any please do share. Why I enjoyed this was, I could keep my house clean all the time, I managed to exercise every now and then and I cooked my heart out. I started experimenting with things I had never eaten before and I fell in love with Orange juice.

Cooked lamb leg for the first time…

Now things are slowly starting to get back to where they were and I am not going to lie, I am going to miss the lock down. I am already missing it, the 5 minutes ride to work is now 15 or more depending on traffic. The shops are now always full, and soon we will be dealing with weird complaints.

Thank you for considering me as your friend….

Two years ago I went to one company for a meeting, as I got to the company the reception area was empty, so I sat at the reception and waited for assistance. I waited and waited and no one came so I decided to proceed to the offices, and I did make an entrance because they all looked at me and the guy I had gone to see came rushing to me. We had our meeting and as I was about to leave one lady approached me and asked me where I was from.

I told her I was from Zimbabwe and I did something I have never done ever since I came to Doha, I asked for her number and she agreed. We started communicating and we finally agreed to go on our “first date,” it was fun, you know how refreshing it is to have a conversation with another female that does not involve gossip. Time went by so fast and so did our bottle of wine, we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

We did stay in touch, she kept asking if we could hang out but most of the time I could not because hanging out is not so cheap, so I invited her over and I cooked for her. She did say that was one of the best home made burgers and wings she had :-). Our friendship was growing and my husband would make fun of how I was warming up to having female friends.

Then she dropped a bomb on me, she said she was leaving and I was really hurt. I thought we had a good thing, and now she wanted to leave me. My girl left and she was reunited with her man. We kept in touch, she made the effort I on the other hand have this out of sight out of mind mentality, if it were not for the smartphones and forever telling us when people change their numbers I wouldn’t have her number.

My girls had accomplished all she wanted in life and now what she wanted was the ring, she would text me every now and ask me how I got my ring after a year of dating and to be honest I never had an answer. She couldn’t wait to get the ring. My girl finally got the ring and I was one of the first people she told this good news. I was so happy because she got what she always wanted and she did find time to share this good news with me. Now I know where I stand in this relationship and will work on it.

The beautiful ring and the soon to be bride’s hand….

It was Love at first bite with my mother in-law….

This is me trying to make the scotch eggs that won my heart.

I am a simple girl, my favorite food includes KFC chicken and Hawaiian twister, chips, burgers, eggs and mustard greens. A few years ago I attended a function and this is where I met my husband and his parents for the first time.

It was a bring and share kind of event so my future mother in-law brought some scotch eggs. Everyone was bringing traditional food that at one point I thought I was going to have to eat something I don’t like or cook something else because everything there was not my cup of tea.

Since I was part of the people that were cooking it’s customary that you have to wait for everyone else to take some food before you can, so I was praying that no one would touch my eggs 🤣🤣🤣 and because it was fate no one did.

Scotch eggs consist of two of my favorite things, eggs and burger meat so I knew I was going to like them. When I took my first bite I was blown away, that scotch eggs was amazing. My mother in-law is a pro in the kitchen! I fell in love with her food, the way to my heart apparently is through my stomach. Love at first bite ☺️☺️☺️

Cut Tilder some slack already….

I hope by the time this comes out people would have calmed down. Just a disclaimer me saying all this does not mean I lack empathy and to be honest I wouldn’t know how they feel because I have never been in this situation.

Personally I don’t follow a lot of these groups for my personal reasons and had it been anybody else I wouldn’t have followed the story, but because this guy was my neighbor and some of my sisters were big fans so I was curious. Contrary to what my husband believes, I do know a lot of “prominent” people, and there are certain sides to these people that I know that the public might not know. For example Spencer I don’t remember ever seeing him with girls, then again I wasn’t very fond of him so I didn’t pay attention to him.

Back to Tilder, I saw the live she did and explaining how she was getting backlash from people. She played the audios and played her response which in my opinion made sense. From what I understood from the “spokesperson” they wanted Spencer to apologize and to be honest there is no amount of apology that can erase the alleged crimes. If it was an apology that they wanted it is said that he went and apologized privately to these victims, which according to the audio it is what they wanted but they didn’t want it in the words of Dr. Amai Mugabe “pachena takahwanda.” Okay fine what did they want Tilder to do? Force him to apologize in the group? Then what? Tilder is just a journalist not a law enforcer and as it stands all these are allegations. Tilder works for the national broadcaster and this guy used to be her colleague and its not his first time involved in scandals what if people at ZBC were made to sign an NDA?

I think by now as Zimbabweans we should know that cases cannot be solved on social media, look at all the past cases people have made noise about and they all died a natural death. Criminals are roaming free and people have moved on to the next interesting thing. I am not a lawyer but weren’t the victims supposed to keep their cards on the chest so when this guy is brought to justice he wont have tempered with the evidence? I believe he now knows all the victims and he can do whatever he wants.

Spencer has been given ammunition and Tilder is being castigated for telling the people to bring this person to justice. I hope one day we will all understand that Tilder was not the enemy here but was trying to help the best way she can.

When kindness backfires….

One day I got a message from one of my good friends from High School and there was this girl he always had a crush on and wanted me to help get the girl. This girl happened to be in Namibia also so I said what the heck I will play cupid. I got the girl’s name and I started stalking her and realized we had a lot in common.

I sent the request and in no time we became friends, it so happened that we used to go to the same church at that time so after church on Sunday she would invite me to her house and we would have lunch together. Our situation ship grew and if my memory serves me right we used to spend most of our weekends together. My friends at that time were all busy and one guy had told me that the reason my relationships failed was because of my friends which by the way were guys.

Me and the guys were so close, 1 of them we went to High School together and he was the first familiar face I saw when I went for registration. The other 2, we were on the same bus when we went to Namibia that year, its a 24hr journey so you are forced to know everyone in the bus, so we talked and I remember one of them saying if you do pass maybe we will find ourselves in the same classes which we did. We all got together on the first day of registration and we became the squad. Apparently other guys were threatened by our friendship dynamic so I had to find female ones so I can be approachable,I was 19 so I thought it was a good idea and while I was at it I was helping another friend get the girl.

This is why I tried to make this friendship work, one day my friend moved to a place that was not furnished and she needed some furniture, the place I was staying was fully furnished so the items I had bought in first year were in my sister’s garage so I offered to help her out. We went to my sister’s and she decided she wanted a cupboard, so as we were arranging to get a cab my sister arrived and said she would drop her off. On our way, she got a call and whoever the person was needed NAD 500 urgently so she asked me and unfortunately I didn’t have so this friend of mine offered to help my sister out. We went to the ATM they did their transaction and to be honest I don’t know what was their agreement.

All this happened during the weekend, I think on Monday my friend started texting me asking for her money. I hadn’t seen my sister yet, in as much as we stayed in the same area and went to the same school sometimes we would go for weeks without seeing each other due to our different timetables. I know my sister and I knew she would tell me once the money was ready so I didn’t bother her. Midweek the texts became too much and I was forced to forward them to my sister, why I was being insulted up to today still puzzles me.

On Saturday morning my sister just called and said she was at my gate and we were going to give my friend her money back before she went to school, we got to her house and she was not there so I hid the money in her room where she kept all her valuables and I left. The previous day I had my first experience with Mary Jane so I was still a bit high but I knew what I was doing my mistake was I forgot to text her but I informed her roommate. Later that evening the abusive texts started coming again and I told her I left the money in her house and she claimed she never saw it.

Had I not gone with my sister I would have had 2 people that were accusing me of stealing, luckily my sister was there to confirm this. The following day she started texting my sister directly, how she got her number is still a mystery to this day. It make me wonder why she even involved me in the first place when she could contact her directly. My sister told her the same story that we had left the money at her house.

My sister’s house is in one of the good suburbs in Windhoek and she drives a nice car, according to my sister’s theory, my friend saw an opportunity to make money and she used it. When she realized that no extra cent was going to come from my sister, she decided to contact my landlord. Apparently her parents and my landlord were friends so she was as good as family, its a Vamboland thingy we also have friends that are now like family. This lady did not even wait to hear my side of the story so she came and evicted all the students that lived in that house all because of a lie.

I lost a friend, my room and my integrity all because of a NAD 500 transaction that would have been avoided had I stopped trying to be Mother Theresa.

The root cause

The woman with the pulling socks….

A few days ago one of the ladies in our Zimbabwean Ladies group sent a message saying she met a youngish couple at the supermarket and they were speaking shona, why she mentioned it in the group was because the lady was wearing a pulling sock or a wig cap and she urged everyone not to do it because she found it shocking.

So my sister quickly texted me and asked if it was me since I fall under the category of youngish, and I told her no, I did go to that supermarket the day before this lady met the youngish couple and I had my weave out, its old but hey we are going through an epidemic I am not about to get the virus all because I want to look good.

The people started commenting and trust me women are ruthless I was tempted to come from bay 80 where I am always but usually when I do someone exits the group, so I let it go but still it was bothering me. Then Nancia wrote something about women working together and I couldn’t help but feel like I let her down whoever she was.

Obviously those close to the lady who sent the message went to her inbox to ask who it was, I mean if my sister in-law could come to mine and ask so all those close to this lady can do the same so now they know who she is. She definitely saw the message if she is in the group and she now knows that the ladies in this group are not about fixing her crown but rather make fun of her.

No one even bothered to find out why she had a pulling sock in her head, a supermarket is full of people and everyday we receive text saying as soon as you come back from the store wash everything including your hair, maybe she did want to expose her hair so she can skip this process. According to the lady who posted it was around lunch time maybe she wanted to save time and prepare lunch.

Who knows probably they were just going for a drive and they decided to stop by the store and get something real quick or maybe her husband told her to hurry up and she did not have time to fix herself. Did anyone stop to think that maybe her husband likes it that way.

We are going through a pandemic and people are coping differently and I don’t think a lot of people are worried about their looks, all they want to do is get by.

I could be wrong but was it not better for this lady, if she really wanted to help a sister to go to her inbox and tell her, why did she have to embarrass her like that?

Funny thing is this lady can just take off her pulling socks and move on but the same cannot be said about the person who brought this to our attention. We do have a long way to go.

Covid-19 took me down memory lane….

In this our new normal everything is now online, including the bhawa lol. So last week I managed to watch one of those “Gara Mumba” shows, and the first person I got the chance see was Stunner and he was playing our song “team hombe,” we loved that song (that is my sisters and uncles) at one time we even stole Stunner’s number from my uncle’s phone lol and no we did nothing with it.

The year when this song was a hit, was the first time ever I went to the bhawa hmmmm we couldn’t stop talking about it that my moms had to go check out the place. The year was 2010 and we were at my aunt’s wedding, so me and Val we were salty because we were not included in the bridal team. We got to the wedding late, when the rest of the family left we told them we were going to take a kombi and thats what we did. We got to the wedding late and we were hanging outside like I said before we were salty, so when the parents said they were going home me and Val said we will hang out with Uncle Victor as he was the only one who was tolerating our bullshit. After the wedding my uncle said lets go for the after party, I was like “unko call your sisters,” the sisters agreed, not sure they were told the real story but who cared lol.

We got into the car and we went to Globetrotter, yeah that bhawa that was in Westgate, it was an open space with tents and they had all the cool radio DJs on the decks. Me and Val were so excited, we had made it hehe and my uncle went ahead and bought us our first beers Smirnoff Spin that was the best 18th birthday present, I turned 18 in a bhawa hahaha. The music was on point, we did have fun although my uncle wouldn’t let us dance with the boys lol. It was my first time drinking the whole bottle on my own so “ndakapayaya,” as my late uncle used to call it. As soon as he realized this he took us home and they went on partying without us. For shame!

My uncle was the best shame, a few days after this we were at my grans house getting our hair done when he asked us if we wanted to go to a “Pasa Pasa,” I honestly didn’t know what that was but I said yes, I was 18 and I felt like an adult, of course I wanted to go. This time it was my aunt who called the sisters and all she had to say was the girls are still getting their hair done. I think this was our best New Years party to date, funny enough we never went to a Pasa Pasa that night and to date, we ended up at some house party that was liiiiit!

I know Victor would have enjoyed this performance and he will be saying “bhebhi you see, this is music not ana Gonzi venyu vamakuterera ava.” Before he died I took one of his belts because i had left mine at home and up to now I wear it even when it doesn’t match my clothes I don’t care. Every time I wear it I am always smiling on the inside because this guy was a legend in our family who was loved by everyone.

In 2010 my uncle introduced us to dzemudanga, 10 years later our love for Victor makes us meet up and have one for him, its sad his favorite bhawa was shutdown it would have been nice if we could go there but oh well. Thank you Dziva for taking me down memory lane.

22….

So today my little sister turns 22 today, yeah where did the time go, it feels like just yesterday when I was begging my mom to go to the hospital and “buy” me a baby brother because all the kids in the street already had baby brothers. We lived in the ghetto at that time and you know how everything is everyone business. My mom complied, thank God, but she didn’t buy a boy, instead she bought a girl. I had a plan I was going to call my baby brother Tapiwa Hobodo, after some kid who I apparently admired at my pre-school. Luckily the name was unisex but baby could not keep the “Hobodo” part. This is how I became a big sister.

I am where I am today because of the decisions I made at 22, that is when I decided to leave home and start out on my own. The decision wasn’t any easy one believe me but it had to be done. My friends were all employed and I was at home binge watching series’ until I realized that Bank of Mom cannot cough out money whenever I wanted and Bank of Dad needs you to do a lot of work before it pays you peanuts. I took out the very same laptop I am using right now and I made things happen.

I didn’t have it all figured out, but I knew that if ever I wanted to be the person I meant to be I had to risk some to win some. I was a young woman in love but I had to tell myself that love didn’t pay the bills. I left the guy I thought I loved hoping we would see each other again but the moment I settled here our relationship status changed to “just friends,” imagine if had stayed for this person where would I be now.

I lost a lot of “friends” some that were really close and if I could go back in time I would tell myself that Rava you made the right decision. If anything losing friends taught me to be independent, it was at 22 when I became an introvert. The last few months of being 22 I was financially independent, I started dreaming again, I knew anything is possible if I work hard.

I remember when my cousin left and I told my family that I was next, they all laughed at me, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming. This was in July and in August I had a job interview and on 18 October I was on my way to the top. Guess who is laughing now lol.

What I did wish though I had at 22 was a support system that encouraged me to follow my dreams. My parents were not really happy at the fact that I was going to another country to be a waitress but there was nothing they could do about it because it was what I wanted and I was not letting anyone get in the way of the dream. Its only now that I have a good job that they tell people what I actually do but the 2 years I worked in service they never told anyone what it is that I did. I remember my father at one time even told me to come back home because he was embarrassed. I didn’t let that get to me, I was making an honest living making my history.

I might have not had it all figured out but thank you so much 22 year old me for having the courage to step outside your comfort zone. When I arrived here, I was picked up by an Asian man and as soon as figured that he was the one taking me to God knows where, I quickly asked him where I could buy a sim card so I can alert my family as if there was anything they could do from Africa lol. This place was still underdeveloped so there was nothing much to see on the way and it looked like we were headed for the desert. I was scared and excited at the same time, we finally reached my new home and things have been looking good and its all thanks to you my brave 22 year old self.

Gender equality, a biblical point of view….

On Saturday one of the ladies in our tribe brought an interesting topic to the group which was God related. I was at work and doing my monthly closing but was forced to engage in this conversation mainly because I am always curious to know how people understand God. It was really an interesting conversation and after our lengthy discussion I had a “revelation.”

It been a few months now since i denounced Christianity, yeah you read right I am not a Christian. I am a child of God, I am a believer but not a Christian, I am all about a Just God not “Mwari wemunhu wese.” I will be honest I don’t really like talking about God because I am one of those “vasina kutumwa,” so I am always afraid of messing with people’s faith. Disclaimer these are my opinions backed up by scriptures and if you think or feel like something is not fair, take it up with God he is the one who sent people to write these things. Now that’s out of the way we can talk about my revelation lol.

A few month ago my sister in law asked me what the Bible talked about and to be honest with you I didn’t know but because I wanted to sound smart I told her something and she was quick to say no, it talks about Jesus Christ. As the doubting Thomas I always am I needed facts and I was directed to Hebrews 10 vs 7  Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. Feel free to read the whole passage to get a proper understanding of who was talking or take my word for it, Paul was talking about Jesus. From my understanding in the volume of the book, this was the bible and it talk about Jesus.

Now that my foundation has been laid, my “revelation” was about gender equality. Since I believe and it is written the book talks about him, and I believe and it is written that nature preaches the gospel Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse. Gender equality is not possible why because our “sex” preaches the gospel, how, okay in the book of Ephesians 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church, do read from verse 22, this is the passage about wives submitting to our husbands and Paul (this guy was blessed shame, he had all these things revealed to him) clearly mentions that this mystery was about Christ, but it is being preached through the marriage setup.

So who is the husband, 2 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ, correct me if I am wrong but the husband is Christ here. If we go back to Ephesians we see that Christ loves his church as a husband should love his wife.

I believe we all understand that we are not equal to Christ, he is the only one who has blood that can take away sins. You can refer back to Hebrews 10 for clarity, so our husbands or men were asked to play the role of Christ, Ephesians 5:23 and us we were asked to play the role of the church, which is the wife. Is a church equal to Christ? Even if we try we can never be, we were not born of virgins, we cannot die for sins and we cannot be raised form the dead after 3 days.

Back to gender equality “revelation” this setup is what was designed from the beginning, Genesis 2:21-23 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. We spend so much time trying to change things to suit our needs, we seek equality that was never there from the beginning. Funny story when a woman did try to be the head she ended up feeding her husband the fruit and they were chased out of the garden and as if that was not enough, Adam was cursed for listening to his wife Genesis 3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.

If they were supposed to be equal why was it so bad that this man listened to his wife? Because a marriage is a representation of Christ and the church, the church cannot be telling Christ what to do, hence a man and woman cannot be equal, the first man did not practice equality. Lets not get this twisted just because women and men are not equal does not mean that they are not significant, nah ah, it was women that went to preach to the men disciples that Christ had risen Luke 24: 10 It was Mary Magdalene and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and other women that were with them, which told these things unto the apostles. Only Mary Magdalene did something that made Jesus himself say Mark 14:9 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her.

In life we all have a role to play, in as ‘wrong’ as this may sound, we are in a play were scripts have already been written for us Romans 8:30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. We cannot be all equal, that’s why we were not all born on the same day and even identical twins have differences, so instead of chasing gender equality I have personally come to terms with the fact that we all have a role to play. Yes it might seem unfair but hey it is not supposed to be equal and it is meant to preach the gospel.

We live in a men’s world.

Giphy

A few months ago I remember my husband reading an article to me about how Professor John Guillebaud and his friends have ruled that period pains were as painful as a heart attack. Having suffered from dysmenorrhea my entire adult life you can imagine my reaction, why did it need a man to approve that it was equally as painful?

This is a men’s world and women we basically have to live in it, like I said I suffer from dysmenorrhea and sometimes I am not even able to open my eyes or do anything let us remember feeling the same pain as the pain one feels when they’re having a heart attack but still I have to wake up and show up at work. During this time of the month its not only the pain we have to deal with, I swear everyone waits for me to be on my period so they can try me ooo. I really cannot stand people during this time. Argh then there is the food cravings that no one takes serious. If you are having a heavy flow you constantly have to change and as an adult you’re not expected to spoil your clothes and all this is going on why you feeling like shit.

Picture taken from Facebook

The man has agreed that the pain feels like a that of having a heart attack, yes its painful, I once collapsed in town because of this and thank God I had my friends with me and they took care of me. At one time every part of my body was in pain including my teeth can you imagine I sort of collapsed at work and they called the paramedics and as soon as they had given me some pain medication everyone at work was expecting me to be up and running again. Is that how you treat someone who just experienced something similar to a heart attack????????????

Why are we not given time off so we can rest when we are going through this, I agree we are superhumans we can do a lot in high heels but just 2 days a month where we can nurse this heart attack like pain is all I ask for. Just 2 days where I do not have to deal with people and their BS. 2 days that I can just be at home in my comfortable clothes with everything I am craving in front of me and enjoying my own company.

Oh well like they say just because it’s a painful as a heart attack it does not make it one.

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